Uncommon Dissent

Thursday, October 27, 2005

NABT trolling for controversy (0 comments)

"Dammit!" Demsbki swore to himself, spilling half a cappucino on his minty-fresh Dockers, knocking a "Prayer Changes DNA" placard from his desk, scattering a pile of chewed pencils. "They're borrowing from our playbook!"

He reached across the desk for the Bat Signal button. Pushed it a few times, and looked out his window at the clouds. Nothing. "Dammit!" he swore again, then meekly offered up a "sorry" to the Intelligent Designer, who, as we all know, abhors a potty mouth.

"I thought I saw the Behe signal!" shouted Michael Behe, barging in to Dembski's office, tripping on a pile of fan mail and bashing his funny bone on a softball trophy. He was wearing a green cape and held a starry wand in each hand. The cape, adorned with glittering letters, read "BIG BANG."

"Nah," said Dembski. "Must be a wire crossed. You're no help to me now."

"Why not?" Behe asked, his chin drooping. "Cause I made a boo-boo at the Dover trial?"

"No, single-handedly setting ID back a decade or more doesn't disqualify you from God's--er, the Designer's--work."

"Really? I'm back on the team?"

"Of course not," Dembski shot back. "Idiot."

Salvador Cordova crashed through the window, breaking his fall on a stack of mathematical manuscripts marked "Proof that God > Doughnuts." He brushed broken glass from his black jumpsuit and stammered, "I thought I s-s-saw the S-s-sycophant S-s-signal."

Behe and Dembski exchanged shrugs. "Go for it, tiger," said Dembski, tossing an email printout to Special Agent Salvador. "We got us another lobbying group to smear."

"Righto, chief," said Sal. "That is, if I may so humbly aid you in your s-s-service of the Great Designer Who Shall Not Be Named."

"Go already," Dembski replied, shaking his head. Salvador climbed back out the window, as Bill and Mike looked on wistfully.

"It was a great run," said Dembski, watching as Special Agent Sal hitched a ride underneath a passing Greyhound bus. "But we're doomed."

Behe nodded.

"Dammit," Dembski added, "Don't chew on my pencils."

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